I hate it.

Well well well... How do I feel right now? Like a pile of shit. The feeling of being lonely on such days... Trusting friends to share some secrets? Well, I don't get to know about the secrets. But instead, I get to know it last. And the most importantly, betrayed. I thought we were close friends? And we were in the same situation? Well, I don't think I can ever trust you again. This. Shall be the last time. Why am I so stupid to even trust you in the first place? Why? You and her together? I thought you were still in the phrase where you just like like her and not already like being together with her already. Honestly, being told that you guys are together is a little shock to me right now. But the thing that I do not like about is you and her wanting to have dinner with me and the rest just for her to let her know us better. Sorry to say this but, I'll definitely be putting my shield up. And to be honest, I don't like it that it is because you said you like me in the past and I rejected you and that is the reason why she is here. I hate it. I don't like such feelings. It makes me feel like a close friend of mine is being taken away from me. That is what I don't like the most about. What else? I just don't want to accept it I guess... Me saying that I'm fine with her coming for dinner is a lie. Its a big lie. I do not want that. I dislike the thought of it. Why? Why should she even come? I don't really like her. Like. What is nice about her? I just don't get it. Am I being jealous? Yes I guess you can say that. Friends around me getting together. And me, here alone. Not even sure about my feelings if I even like him... I think its just me being afraid of being judged by people... And that is what I do not like about the most. I kind of like his company at times. Just like today. We hung around at KFC chatting a little about school. Right now, what I'm afraid is that the seniors will be saying stuff about us being together. Well, they kind of know that he likes me? But they do not know that he likes likes me... And also, a problem I'm having now is what to get him for his Christmas gift. He ordered mine already. I really think its Baymax. hahah. I think he got me a soft toy. If I'm not wrong? But I don't know what to get for him. Sighpie. Life is tough. xoxo