What I really think about // Illumi Run 2014

You. You got together with her and I'm the last to know? Such great friends. Well, thank you. You're such a great friend. I know that we are not that close but still. You are the one who liked me in the past. Which is about 10 months ago? How do I know if you really did like me before? You and her. Tch. Seriously. And you even asked if she could join us for dinner that day? Oh please. I'm really glad that she didn't come. But I also feel bad that something happened in her family. But do you really have to purposely show me that you bought movie tickets to watch with her but she couldn't make it? Really? In front of my mum too? You're the only one I told about that guy and I feel that you are trying to get me to be together with him no matter what. Seriously. Let me be who I really want to be. How I really feel. Also, I really do not like this feeling of loosing a close friend. I don't even think I have a best friend. Or even a good friend. One that I can really rely on, and even to talk to when I'm down.
//
//
//
Yesterday, I went for Illumi Run! Love the paint. Although it felt so slimy and gross, its fun! I really enjoyed my time. However, I don't really think I like the part where it was the after party. I think that it is quite dumb tho. Well, he told me that his friend had paint in his mouth the day before and I told him that I was tempted to buy a mask to cover my mouth so I won't be getting any into mine. HEHE. However, I had some on my lip. It sucked. ): What I enjoyed was when I told them to spray the paint onto me, they really did it! I really love that. My shirt was mostly orange. That's the only colour where I was able to get them to spray the most for me. And, the guys kept cleaning the paint on me because I said that I wanted my shirt to be colourful. HAHA. Especially when Jia Yang had green paint sprayed on him the most, he kept cleaning it on my neck. Oh gawd. Really? On my neck?! HAHA. And Aloysius looked like he had orange snot. That was the funniest one ever. We did the neon makeover too! We got them to draw strips for us on our cheewks. hehe. CHEEKS! We didn't run at all. But we saw lots of our secondary school friends but they didn't even say hi to us. like WHATTT. -.- so mean. Who cares. I don't give a shit if you don't want to recognise your ex-schoolmate. So what? Well, I had fun. Yeaps.. That's that. And also, Aloysius, Jia Yang, Ryan and I went to the airport to pick Jiaming(Aloysius's girlfriend) who came back from her overseas trip with her school. We met her mum there too! Well, we were there from around 12.30am till 2am I guess. Her mum is so cute. HAHA. She's so friendly too. ("; Well, after that, we went home together since Jia Yang and Ryan was staying over at Aloysius's house. And I reached home at about 2.20 I guess. I slept at around 3 to 4 tho. So tired.

Now, I have to study. I'm having my Mid-semester test in 1 week and I'm having my Japanese CDS class test this Thursday! I'm so screwed. Not even prepared for any of this!!! ): xoxo

I hate it.

Well well well... How do I feel right now? Like a pile of shit. The feeling of being lonely on such days... Trusting friends to share some secrets? Well, I don't get to know about the secrets. But instead, I get to know it last. And the most importantly, betrayed. I thought we were close friends? And we were in the same situation? Well, I don't think I can ever trust you again. This. Shall be the last time. Why am I so stupid to even trust you in the first place? Why? You and her together? I thought you were still in the phrase where you just like like her and not already like being together with her already. Honestly, being told that you guys are together is a little shock to me right now. But the thing that I do not like about is you and her wanting to have dinner with me and the rest just for her to let her know us better. Sorry to say this but, I'll definitely be putting my shield up. And to be honest, I don't like it that it is because you said you like me in the past and I rejected you and that is the reason why she is here. I hate it. I don't like such feelings. It makes me feel like a close friend of mine is being taken away from me. That is what I don't like the most about. What else? I just don't want to accept it I guess... Me saying that I'm fine with her coming for dinner is a lie. Its a big lie. I do not want that. I dislike the thought of it. Why? Why should she even come? I don't really like her. Like. What is nice about her? I just don't get it. Am I being jealous? Yes I guess you can say that. Friends around me getting together. And me, here alone. Not even sure about my feelings if I even like him... I think its just me being afraid of being judged by people... And that is what I do not like about the most. I kind of like his company at times. Just like today. We hung around at KFC chatting a little about school. Right now, what I'm afraid is that the seniors will be saying stuff about us being together. Well, they kind of know that he likes me? But they do not know that he likes likes me... And also, a problem I'm having now is what to get him for his Christmas gift. He ordered mine already. I really think its Baymax. hahah. I think he got me a soft toy. If I'm not wrong? But I don't know what to get for him. Sighpie. Life is tough. xoxo